Persona 3 Fun Drabbles
by noahpocalypse1
Summary: Lighthearted, mostly humorous drabbles starring the various members of SEES.
1. Chapter 1: Shinjiro frowning

Shinjiro was frowning.

This was, in itself, not an unusual occurrence in the SEES dorm, or anywhere for that matter. Junpei commonly speculated to the younger members of the group that Shinjiro's facial muscles were paralyzed in a blow from a street fight, resulting in his expression. He repeated his theory to the group now, andMinako responded by suggesting it was a result of early onset Apathy Syndrome, localized in the facial area. Yukari smacked Minako's shoulder for her insensitivity, then giggled and said that he was probably just born that way. Akihiko, overhearing her, confirmed that Shinjiro was in fact born with a stick up his ass.

Akihiko's kohai gasped at hearing their senpai talk that way, andthey looked into the kitchen to see where the object of rumor was sitting in front of a decrepit laptop. He appeared oblivious to their discussion, and yet…

Shinjiro's frown deepened.

"I didn't realize his frown could deepen," Junpei said. "I know," Minako responded, "but it's good to see signs that he's recovering facial locomotion." Yukari smacked Minako again before speaking. "Seriously, I wonder if he's okay. I haven't seen him make a face like that since trying Fuuka-chan's pork last week."

Koromaru barked softly. "He says that Shinjiro-senpai is looking at a cookbook he bought recently," Aigis translated.

"Did the cookbook insult his mother?" Minato wondered. "Nah," Junpei said, "it probably just made fun of his constant frown."

Shinjiro's frown deepened, and his eyes narrowed.

"Oh shit oh shit he heard me please don't hurt me," Junpei muttered as he frantically turned back to the group.

"Don't worry, Shinjiro-senpai wouldn't hurt anyone," Minako said. "He's a sweetheart." Junpei perked up, and sneaked a glance back.

Shinjiro appeared to be shaking.

"Well," Minako said, "he wouldn't hurt anyone who didn't deserve it." Yukari smirked. "I hope you've written your will, Stupei." Junpei cowered in his seat.

Akihiko sighed, stood up, and walked over to the kitchen table. "Alright, what's the matter- "

"The matter," said Shinjiro icily, "is that every goddamn recipe on the internet has to start with five pages of exposition regarding the origin of the dish, how the author refined the recipe, how the author's kids feel about the recipe, the color of their shit after eating the recipe, it never fucking ends! And this is YOUR fault for asking me to make a sugar-free cake for your birthday that involves protein somehow! And do you know how hard it is to work protein into sweet dishes without using any sugar or making it taste like chalk? It's like it's an inherently savory chemical, damn it!"

Akihiko had taken a step back. "W-well forget about the protein then, I can just sprinkle some powder-"

"You will NOT sprinkle protein powder on a dish that I go out of my fucking way to cook for you!"

"Fine, I'll just have a damn shake afterwards! You don't have to stress so much about it!"

Shinjiro slumped in his chair. "Oh, but I do, because even aside from that ridiculous request to satisfy your neurotic cravings, I still have to wade through people's stories of how much their kids loved this sugar-free cake and all the neighbors were asking for the recipe and about how this dish helped them solve their issues at work- and I don't give a flying fuck about their life stories, I just want to make my goddamn fucking best friend a cake for his birthday and I have to wade through these paragraphs of happiness and sunshine to get to the fucking recipe, because all these damn blogs are so bogged down with popups and shit that it takes so long to load the huge-ass webpages that I might as well read these fucking wholesome stories because it's the only way to pass the time!"

The dorm is silent.

Junpei cowers. Yukari is covering her mouth with her is whimpering. Akihiko looks shocked. Aigis is expressionless.

Minako stood and walked over to Shinjiro. She gently pattedhim on the head. "There, there. I'm sure Akihiko-senpai didn't mean to put you through so much trouble just for him. Tell you what, I'll find a decent recipe and you can go cool off."

"Sorry I forgot you were allergic to positivity," Akihiko mumbled. "It's a condition," Shinjiro grumbled, and left without another word.

Aigis cocked her head. "Do all friendships result in such profanity and petulance?"

Junpei grinned. "Only the best ones, Ai-chan!"


	2. Chapter 2: Never Forget

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Junpei asked softly.

"As a matter of fact, I have. We were on a blind date. Unfortunately he never returns my calls. Says I'm too creepy."

"... Damn it Minato, why you gotta be like that? You're stealing my thunder," Junpei whined. Minato shrugged. "Same reason I can't help demolishing you in Halo 3."

The two were playing on Sandtrap. Junpei's avatar came up behind Minato's and attempted a melee kill, but Minato jumped, and his avatar ended up standing on Junpei's avatar's head. He fired a few rounds then melee'd, killing Junpei without a scratch.

"Hey! No screen watching!" Junpei yelled.

"I wasn't," Minato said smugly, "I just used my radar. You never use yours, which is why I can sneak up on you all the time."

"Go to hell, Minato... hey, let's play grifball!"

"No."

"Aw come on, you never wanna play grifball!"

"No I don't, because it's not an interesting game. It's random, the only joy in it comes from watching the ragdolls flop around."

"I think you're just sore that I'm better at grifball than you."

"Bungie spent years designing this game, and the primary gameplay has much more interesting dynamics and a much higher skill ceiling than that fanmade... fad! Youtube will get over it eventually!"

"You're just mad because you lose every time."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"FINE! We'll do grifball, then if I lose I'll... do some favor for you, and if you lose you'll shut up about this!"

"Deal!"

* * *

"... Best two out of three!"

"Fine, but if I win all three, you have to do a... a favor for me!"

"... What kind of favor?"

"Oh, you know, a fairly simple one."

"I don't care, just start the damn game."

* * *

Minato was cursing loudly. "This button's broken!"

"Hmm? Let me see... no, it seems to work just fine."

"But it wasn't doing it's- it wasn't doing it's thing that it's supposed to do!"

"Man," Junpei said, "you lost, get over it... and get ready to hear what I want you to do."

Minato sighed. "Alright, fine. What do you want?"

Junpei told him.

Minato initially refused.

"Come on, nobody will find out! And really, doesn't the idea intrigue you at all?"

Minato's eye twitched. "Well... it's not that I'm opposed to the end result of what you're suggesting, it's the ethical implications of the action itself... not to mention there's a potential end result of, uh, probably a painful death for both of us."

"Don't worry man, they'll never find out!"

"... If this goes wrong, I'll never forgive you."

* * *

The next day, Yukari and Fuuka were chatting in front of Gekkoukan.

"Oh no, there's a stain on my cardigan! I didn't notice it this morning... ugh, I must've spilled ramen onto it or something."

Fuuka reached into her bag and pulled out a stain removal marker. "Here Yukari-chan, you can use this."

Yukari's eyes widened. "Oh! Fuuka, you're a lifesaver! Here, can you help pull the fabric taut so I can use the marker?"

"Of course, it's no problem."

As the two girls' arms were engaged in removing the stain, a sudden stiff breeze kicked up. The girls didn't notice for a second, but then Fuuka looked down and blushed furiously. "Y- Yukari-chan! Your skirt!"

Yukari glanced down and yelped, dropping the pen and shoving her skirt down furiously, pulling it tight around her legs so the breeze couldn't catch any of the loose fabric. Fuuka's longer skirt was mostly unaffected, until the breeze turned into a gale seemingly localized around her midsection. Fuuka squealed and followed Yukari's example.

"I- I hope nobody saw anything!" Fuuka whispered, red-faced. Yukari's face was a shade darker than Fuuka's, and she nodded in agreement. Mortified, the two headed inside as the gale quickly stopped. "At least it didn't mess up my hair. Did it, Fuuka? Your hair looks okay." "Don't worry Yukari-chan, your hair looks untouched." "That's kind of odd... oh well."

* * *

"Odagiri," Mitsuru said after finding him having his lunch on the roof, "how goes your investigation into the culprit behind the cigarette?"

"Mitsuru-senpai, I confess I haven't had much luck. But I won't cease my efforts until I find that smoker!"

Mitsuru's lips pursed. "About that. I have received several complaints from the student body. They complain of being falsely accused, and they say that you are unrelenting in your interrogations. They say you won't let up, even if the entire student body starts to hates you."

Hidetoshi smiled. "Ah, Mitsuru-senpai, you flatter me! The reports are indeed true. I will stop at nothing to discover who's behind this heinous crime. It's a matter of family honor to me now. Though the common rabble will do all they can to stop me, I will be ceaseless in my dispensation of justice."

Mitsuru blinked. "Actually, Odagiri, I wasn't complimenting you. If anything, I am reprimanding you. You're sowing dissent among the student body and damaging the credibility of the student council as a whole. If you can actually solve the case, fine, but you're spending the council's goodwill with all these false accusations. Do not let your... righteous thirst for justice... get in the way of performing your actual duty, that of representing the students' needs. Yes, you are head of the Disciplinary Committee, but you've been too overzealous. If the case isn't settled, nobody will hold it against you."

"I... I didn't realize the school was so relaxed about infractions such as these," Hidetoshi said with a frown. "I see now that my position is not as crucial as I thought it was. My apologies for going against your will, Madam President."

Mitsuru was irked now. She wasn't about to assuage this fool's ego, yet she didn't want a rift in the council. Hidetoshi did his job well, when he wasn't grossly aggressive in doing so. She turned to Chihiro. "Fushimi, what are your thoughts on the matter?"

"I don't believe Mitsuru-senpai meant to insult your efforts and talents, Hidetoshi-kun, she just means that you... you need to be more concerned with your relations with people. This issue isn't worth sacrificing bonds with people over." Thankfully, Arisato had been working with the girl on her ability to relate to members of the opposite sex.

Hidetoshi frowned slightly and was silent for a moment. "I see... you've given me something to think about. I'll... drop the issue for now."

Mitsuru smiled. Mission accomplished. Hidetoshi was realize his error and become a better person for it. She and Chihiro stood by the bench Hidetoshi was sitting on with his lunch, and she took a moment to turn away and gaze over the city. Things were going rather well today for her.

Suddenly, a gust blew from behind her. Despite the length of their skirts, Mitsuru and Chihiro found the fabric was caught and lifted up swiftly, more swiftly than they could react. The two immediately blushed and forced their skirts down. Mitsuru turned around with a rage in her eyes. She noted the door to the roof was closing. She eyed it for a moment, then noticed Hidetoshi was looking straight down at his lap and gripping his trouser legs. Mitsuru was furious, but she simply walked away before she could take her anger out on Hidetoshi. Her anger would be bottled up for now, and released elsewhere.

* * *

Minato and Junpei collapsed in Junpei's room, out of breath and slightly red-faced. "Oh man!" Junpei said. "That was... oh man!"

"You are a bad man, Iori Junpei. You are a bad man."

Junpei grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Ah get off your high horse, you know you enjoyed that! I saw you having a grand old time with your buddy Junpei."

Minato crossed his arms, but couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching. "I will never admit to that."

"Bah, you'll thank me later. But man, you know what was the most surprising thing? I can't believe Yuka-tan doesn't wear pink down there! I would've thought for sure she'd wear her signature color."

Minato shrugged. "I'm sure she has a few pink pairs. Anyway, that's the last time I wager an unspecified favor with you. I now know the depths of depravity you are capable of sinking to."

Junpei snickered. "You're just mad that you didn't think of the idea of using one of your wind Personas in such a genius way. I'm jealous, I only have fire and physical abilities. It's not fair that none of the guys on the team have wind powers... there's not a chance in hell that I could bribe Yuka-tan into using her wind abilities to raise other girls' skirts."

* * *

Mitsuru paused the video.

"The evidence has been presented. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

The atmosphere in the command room seemed oppressive.

Minato looked left, at Yukari, then right, at Fuuka. Yukari looked murderous. Fuuka looked disappointed. He looked straight ahead at Mitsuru. Her face was neutral.

"I would like the record to show that I was coerced into this and was an unwilling participant."

Mitsuru actually smiled at that. Her eyes remained cold. "Your bullshit defense is duly noted. Anything else?"

"Junpei, I... I know I treat you like a punching bag, but I just want you to know that you are a very, very dear... you are a very dear punching bag to me. I sincerely don't know what I'd do if I couldn't bully you. It's been an honor."

"Go to hell, Minato."

The two screamed as Mitsuru's smile gave way to reveal her inner rage, and she executed them.

* * *

Credit to LittleKuriboh for the beginning quote. See YGOTAS Season Zero Abridged #3 at ( watch?v=OA3aDWg_4XE)

Zanzibar was the best map, change my mind.


End file.
